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200. JUPITER AND A HERDSMAN (Perry 49)

A Herds-Man that had lost a Calf out of his Grounds, sent up and down after it; and when he could get no Tidings on’t, he betook himself at last to his Prayers according to the Custom of the World, when People are brought to a Forc’d-Put. Great Jupiter (says he) Do but shew me the Thief that stole my Calf, and I’ll give thee a Kid for a Sacrifice. The Word was no sooner pass’d but the Thief appear’d; which was indeed a Lion. This Discovery put him to his Prayers once again. I have not forgotten my Vow, says he, but now thou hast brought me to the Thief, I’ll make the Kid a Bull, if thou’lt but set me Quit of him again.

THE MORAL. We cannot be too Careful and Considerate what Vows and Promises we make; for the very Granting of our Prayers turns many times to our Utter Ruin.

201. A GNAT CHALLENGES A LION (Perry 255)

As a Lion was Blustering in the Forrest, up comes a Gnat to his very Beard, and enters into an Expostulation with him upon the Points of Honour and Courage. What do I Value your Teeth or your Claws, says the Gnat, that are but the Arms of every Bedlam Slut? As to the Matter of Resolution; I defy ye to put that Point immediately to an Issue. So the Trumpet Sounded, and the Combatants enter’d the Lists. The Gnat charg’d into the Nostrils of the Lion, and there Twing’d him, till he made him Tear himself with his own Paws, and in the Conclusion he Master’d the Lion. Upon this, a Retreat was Sounded, and the Gnat flew his way: but by Ill-hap afterward, in his Flight, he struck into a Cobweb, where the Victor fell Prey to a Spider. This Disgrace went to the Heart of him, after he had got the Better of a Lion, to be Worsted by an Insect.

THE MORAL. ‘Tis the Power of Fortune to Humble the Pride of the Mighty, even by the most Despicable Means, and to make a Gnat Triumph over a Lion: Wherefore let no Creature, how Great or Little soever, Presume on the One side, or Despair on the Other.

202. A Lion and a Frog.

A Lion that was ranging about for his Prey, made a Stop all on a Sudden at a hideous yelling Noise he heard, which not a little startled him. The Surprize put him at first into a shaking Fit; but as he was looking about and preparing for the Encounter of some terrible Monster, what should he see but a pitiful Frog come crawling out from the Side of a Pond. And is this all? (says the Lion) and so betwixt Shame and Indignation, he put forth his Paw, and pash'd out the Guts on't.

The Moral. There's no resisting of First Motions; but upon second Thoughts we come immediately to our selves again. 

203. An Ant and a Pigeon.

An Ant dropt, unluckily, into the Water as she was drinking at the Side of a Brook: A Wood-Pigeon took Pity of her, and threw her a little Bough to lay hold on. The Ant sav'd herself by that Bough, and in that very Instant, spies a Fellow with a Birding-Piece, making a Shoot at the Pigeon. Upon this Discovery, she presently runs up to him and stings him. The Fowler starts, and breaks his Aim, and away flies the Pigeon.

The Moral. All Creatures have a Sense of good Offices, and Providence itself takes care, where other Means fail, that they may not pass unrewarded.

204. A Peacock and a Pye.

In the Days of Old, the Birds liv'd at random in a lawless State of Anarchy; but in Time they began to be weary on't, and mov'd for the setting up of a King. The Peacock valu'd himself upon his gay Feathers, and put in for the Office: The Pretenders were heard, the Question debated; and the Choice fell upon the Poll to King Peacock: The Vote was no sooner pass'd, but up stands a Pye with a Speech in his Mouth to this Effect: May it please your Majesty, says he, We should be glad to know, in Case the Eagle should fall upon us in your Reign, as she has formerly done, how will you be able to defend us?

The Moral. In the Bus'ness of either erecting or changing a Government, it ought to be very well consider'd beforehand, what may be the Consequences, in case of such a Form, or such a Person. 

205. An Impertinent Dr. and his Patient.

A Physician was told one Morning that a certain Patient of his was dead. Why then the Lord's Will be done, says he: We are all Mortal: But if this Man would have forborn Wines, and us'd Clysters, I'd have warranted his Life this Bout for God-a-Mercy. Well, says one, but why did not you rather give him this Advice when it might have done him good, than stand talking of it to no manner of Purpose now the Man is dead.

The Moral. 'Tis to no Purpose to think of recalling Yesterday; and when the Steed is stol'n of shutting the Stable Door.

206. A Lion, Ass and Fox.

There was a Hunting-Match agreed upon betwixt a Lion, an Ass, and a Fox, and they were to go Equal Shares in the Booty. They ran down a Brave Stag, and the Ass was to Divide the Prey; which he did very Honestly and Innocently into Three Equal Parts, and left the Lion to take his Choice: Who never Minded the Divident; but in a Rage Worry'd the Ass, and then bad the Fox Divide; who had the Wit to make Only One Share of the Whole, saving a Miserable Pittance that he Reserv'd for Himself. The Lion highly approv'd of his Way of Distribution; but Prethee Reynard, says he, who thee to Carve? Why truly says the Fox, I had an Ass to my Master; and it was His Folly made me Wise.

The Moral. There must be no Shares in Sovereignty. Court-Conscience is Policy. The Follow of One Man makes Another Man Wise; as one Man Grows Rich upon the Ruines of Another.

207. A Wolfe and a Kid.

As a Wolfe was passing by a Poor Country Cottage, a Kid spy'd him through a Peeping-Hole in the Door; and sent a Hundred Curses along with him. Sirrah (says the Wolfe) if I had ye out of your Castle, I'd make ye give Better Language.

The Moral. A Coward in his Castle, makes a Great Deal more Bluster than a Man of Honour. 

208. An Ass and a Gard'ner.

A Certain Ass that serv'd a Gard'ner, and did a great deal of Work for a very little Meat, fell to his Prayers for Another Master. Jupiter Granted his Request, and turn'd him over to a Potter, where he found Clay and Tile so much a Heavier Burden then Roots and Cabbage, that he went to his Prayers once again for Another Change. His next Master was a Tanner; and there, over and above the Encrease of his Work, the very Trade went against his Stomach: For (says he) I have been only Pinch'd in my Flesh, and Well Rib-Roasted sometimes under my Former Masters; but I'm In now for Skin and All.

The Moral. A Man that is ever Shifting and Changing, is not, in truth, so Weary of his Condition, as of Himself: And, he that still Carries about him the Plague of a Restless Mind, can never be pleas'd.

209. A Woman and her Maids.

It was the Way of a Good Housewifely Old Woman, to call up her Maids every Morning just at the Cock-Crowing. The Wenches were loth to rise so soon, and so they laid their Heads together, and kill'd the Poor Cock: For, say they, if it were not for his waking our Dame, she would not wake us: But when the Good Woman's Clock was gone, she'd mistake the Hour many times, and call em up at Midnight: So that instead of mending the Matter, they found themselves in a worse Condition now than before.

The Moral. One Error makes way for another. First, we complain of small things: Then we shift, and instead of mending the Matter, we find it worse, 'till it comes at last to the Tinker's Work of Stopping one Hold, and making Ten.